Dear Friends,
When you bake things, I feel obliged to sample them out of respect to our friendship and your energies in making a tasty treat. So hear me now: BAKE MORE THINGS! This is the guilt-free loophole to my sweet tooth.
Thank you, good day.
Kelley
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Single Awareness Day!
I have to say, I don't hate Valentine's Day as much as I guess I should, as a Singleton that is. I've had some good ones. I've had some OK ones. I've had some non-existent ones (those were the best). Quite frankly, I just think it's a good excuse to wear a red dress. Oh, and to send out cards that are far more socially acceptable than if I sent out Christmas Cards (since I never get around to writing them) 2 months late.
That being said, WITH my red dress, I wore some exceptionally high heels today. There was a close call on potentially becoming a fully fledged Bridget Jones: I thought there was a good chance high heels + red dress would equal falling into the toilet. Seriously, the higher the heels, the more you feel like you're in an elementary school's girls' room. Yikes. That would have made the record books of bad Valentine's Days. However, should I have come out of the restroom and found a Brit snickering at me, I'm sure he would have been the Mark Darcy of my dreams. Ah, missed opportunities. Lesson: in a movie, your worst moments coincide with your best.
So, Happy Single Awareness Day to all! And poor men. Spending so much money on food, alcohol and flowers for women who either could care less about them or who care far too much about them.
PS - If, say, I were to watch a movie about teen love and vampires that is being called "the best love story of our time" on the treadmill running tonight, would that end well or not? Would I a) run my heart out and laugh at the melodrama or b) collapse into tears and decide that running to Vons to buy chocolates was exercise enough?
That being said, WITH my red dress, I wore some exceptionally high heels today. There was a close call on potentially becoming a fully fledged Bridget Jones: I thought there was a good chance high heels + red dress would equal falling into the toilet. Seriously, the higher the heels, the more you feel like you're in an elementary school's girls' room. Yikes. That would have made the record books of bad Valentine's Days. However, should I have come out of the restroom and found a Brit snickering at me, I'm sure he would have been the Mark Darcy of my dreams. Ah, missed opportunities. Lesson: in a movie, your worst moments coincide with your best.
So, Happy Single Awareness Day to all! And poor men. Spending so much money on food, alcohol and flowers for women who either could care less about them or who care far too much about them.
PS - If, say, I were to watch a movie about teen love and vampires that is being called "the best love story of our time" on the treadmill running tonight, would that end well or not? Would I a) run my heart out and laugh at the melodrama or b) collapse into tears and decide that running to Vons to buy chocolates was exercise enough?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Speaking Kelley
Are you fluent in Kelley?
Did you know that "Absolutely" means "Yes" and "Sure" means "No?"
Did you know that "I'm not sure" means "what are you talking about?"
What about "sounds great" which means "shut up already?"
You probably figured out that "thanks so much" means "you ARE doing this so just do it already."
As opposed to "thanks" which means....well, that's not very nice language at all.
"Thank you" in any context, however, is genuine.
Oy. No wonder no one understands me.
Post note: This mainly applies to Work-Kelley. Friend-Kelley says "thanks" genuinely as well. Especially when followed up with "so much."
Did you know that "Absolutely" means "Yes" and "Sure" means "No?"
Did you know that "I'm not sure" means "what are you talking about?"
What about "sounds great" which means "shut up already?"
You probably figured out that "thanks so much" means "you ARE doing this so just do it already."
As opposed to "thanks" which means....well, that's not very nice language at all.
"Thank you" in any context, however, is genuine.
Oy. No wonder no one understands me.
Post note: This mainly applies to Work-Kelley. Friend-Kelley says "thanks" genuinely as well. Especially when followed up with "so much."
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Spinsterhood of the Traveling Chocolates
Weight: x+15. Meh.
Planning single ladies party for Saturday before Valentine's Day - the Saturday when couples will crowd all restaurants, making it impossible to be out in public and comfortable.
Feel encouraged that Bridget would, in fact, do this. Well, that and also check under her doormat for Valentines from Daniel. Biggest Bridget influence: skipping the blue soup and just going straight to ordering pizza.
Hope that if you're reading this and want to join, you'll let me know!
Planning single ladies party for Saturday before Valentine's Day - the Saturday when couples will crowd all restaurants, making it impossible to be out in public and comfortable.
Feel encouraged that Bridget would, in fact, do this. Well, that and also check under her doormat for Valentines from Daniel. Biggest Bridget influence: skipping the blue soup and just going straight to ordering pizza.
Hope that if you're reading this and want to join, you'll let me know!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Weight: x+15. Had nightmare last night that I said out loud I weighed x+24. It was sort of like a Weight Watchers meeting - which proves that Weight Watchers meetings would be my nightmare.
At first, I was just horrified that I had accidentally said my weight out loud. Then, I was scared to death that I had gained 9 pounds overnight. I was doing a lot of math in my head while still remaining asleep. Guess that's par for the course since I've always been obsessed with numbers. Needless to say, weighing in this morning was a big relief and deserved a celebration at Starbucks.
In other news, it's been suggested I take internet video applications for the roles of Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy in my life. I'm considering it. Hmm. Is this the new age of dating? Will our kids hear about their parents meeting at a bar and think "that's so quaint?"
At first, I was just horrified that I had accidentally said my weight out loud. Then, I was scared to death that I had gained 9 pounds overnight. I was doing a lot of math in my head while still remaining asleep. Guess that's par for the course since I've always been obsessed with numbers. Needless to say, weighing in this morning was a big relief and deserved a celebration at Starbucks.
In other news, it's been suggested I take internet video applications for the roles of Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy in my life. I'm considering it. Hmm. Is this the new age of dating? Will our kids hear about their parents meeting at a bar and think "that's so quaint?"
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