Monday, January 31, 2011

Capturing your own Humanity

Weight:  x+14, but reinstating "eating" in daily routine was still the right choice.

Remember Inception?  (Spoiler Alert)
Remember how they used their totem to test and see if they were in the real world or the dream world?

I was thinking about that today and realizing that while I don't enter an induced dream world that might be confused with reality, opening up the possibility of being stuck in limbo forever and ever, I do have certain things that I do daily that remind me of my humanity.  And on days that I don't do them, I feel a little off.

I'd be shocked to hear what any of you do and/or if you'd be able to guess what mine are.  I'll give you one just because....

On Saturdays and Sunday mornings, I take Sandy for a leisurely walk through the Kling/Sarah St. circle.  On the way back, we stop by Starbucks if we (and I do mean we) have been good that week.  I enjoy my Iced Chai Latte, and she enjoys her...um....cake.  Shut up, vet.

What do you do that makes you feel like a person instead of an android?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Bridget on a v. v. Not Good Day

Weight:  x+13, silver lining.

Yesterday was a v. v. not good day.  I was left with a desire to research anti-depressants and "cutting" which seems to be all the rage, but then I thought of Bridget.  WWBJD?

After waking up from a night of too much vodka and Chaka Khan, Bridget would probably look around her and find something to laugh about.  So that's what I did.  But what I found was less laugh-worthy and more inspirational.

As I tried to dry my tears and go to sleep, I thought about the people that did or at the very least tried to make my day better.  I thought about Carlos in the commissary who said with a wink that he gave me extra chicken in my chicken salad.  (No, of course I was not eating chicken salad, friends.)

Carlos's life is harder than mine, plain and simple.  And he still had the thoughtfulness, the kindness, the cheerfulness, and the HUMANITY to try to do something nice for me.  Me.  Just some girl with an iPhone in one hand and a pair of ridiculously over-priced shoes that I may or may not be able to walk in.  Really?  I'm the one that's pitiable?  I'm the one that is saying "woe is me?" 

Then, I thought about Caroline.  Caroline who worked her butt off for months and was finally able to catch her breath, but instead, jumped right in and helped me.  I cannot give Caroline enough hugs.

Then, I thought about Erika.  Erika who continues to make my life bearable.  Erika who is working long hours in a job she never signed up for in the hopes that it will lead to a job she might be able to stand....in the hopes that job will lead to the one she really wants.  I thought about how much I have to learn from Erika.

Then, I thought about Jon.  Jon who has one foot out the door but kept asking me what I needed.

Then, I thought about Howard and AJ.  Two people who really took one on the chin and came in with smiles on their faces today.  I have a lot to learn from Howard and AJ.

Then, I started thinking bigger and realizing that as sweet as my mailman is, I don't know his name.  And as much as I owe my life to the cleaning person at our office, I don't even know their gender.

So, I can choose to sit here crying, or I can use my precious time here on planet Earth to make Carlos's life better.  To make sure that Caroline, Erika, and Jon know how much I appreciate them.  To learn from Howard and AJ.  And to freaking learn my mailman's name and ask someone who the heck cleans my office.

And what's more, I can use my precious time here on planet Earth to BE the Carlos to every person I come in contact with on what might be their very own v. v. not good day.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Weight: x+16, exercise plan already failed, but did get in early to work despite lack of exercise.

I love my job, I love my job. I Love My Job.  ~New Mantra

Wore new shoes to work.  Saw about 20 women, and about half commented on them.  Wow, weird women's world!  I'm not used to this...I really never expected people to notice my footwear.  I honestly didn't think half of the women I saw at work even really saw me.

Have theory that they only noticed because I was basically limping.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Weight: x+16, did not lose 5 pounds through exercise.  Oh well...

I know I'm late to the game, but I just discovered Apple TV and Netflix streaming.....I may cancel cable.  I watched two movies back to back on Netflix and then actually left the house to see Burlesque at the Dollar Theater with Kelly.  Made me want to sing and dance and be thin.  Unfortunately, sitting in the movie theater seat burned almost no calories.

In light of wanting to sing and dance and be thin, am implementing new exercise plan that requires waking up early.  I think this may set a new record for rate of failure.  As in it will never even start.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Weight: x+16, but I ran after weighing in, so that means I probably lost 5 pounds, right?  That's how exercise works, ladies and gentlemen.

I find it ironic that while I did run today, I also started the day by almost being run over.  By runners.  Team in Training, thanks for that.  Sandy and I enjoyed almost being trampled.  Must convince Sandy to listen to me when I say "come" instead of continuing to sniff with the leash extended across the sidewalk like a Three Stooges prank.

In other news, I'm not sure which show I quote more nowadays - Seinfeld or The Office.  Note:  The "good years" of The Office.