Weight: x+16, which is actually quite impressive since I've been around the Craft Services table far too much.

An interesting thing has happened.  I had my first crush in a LOOOONG time.  It lasted almost a whole two days before I realized that the subject of my crush was exactly like all of the other crushes I've ever had in my life that led to exactly the same problem: the guy's secretly kind of a jerk.

Apparently, I have a type.  What I call "blond as babies" coloring, not overly muscular, well-spoken, professional, educated, and someone I can banter with.  Then, without fail, the combo leads to being a bit of a jerk. 

Exhibit A: within a few hours of conversation, having realized crush was semi-interested as well, I discovered he was a writer who wanted to talk about studying abroad in London in front of people who didn't have passports while talking about buying the new iPad 2.  What seals the deal is that he also wore running shoes that can track your heart-rate, etc, but he doesn't run.  Turn off...

So is this the sad truth: do I only like jerks?

Drunken Thoughts: Volume One

*New series of posts....in which I label thoughts that I think are vaguely interesting "drunken" when I was, in fact, actually stone cold sober (as, sadly, always am stone cold sober).  The term "drunken" is being applied should you think it's far too trivial that I write these down while being sober.  Or should you think I'm a sick perverted b@$#@&d.

While hating someone, I realized that it's silly to hate the people around me who are, for the most part, not Hitlers.  I should instead hate people that I don't even know.  Or better still, not hate anyone I know because it's not worth the energy.  Sure, the people around me that I intensely dislike and would like to perhaps stab with my high heels do deserve those feelings.  But how much more does a terrorist that I've never met deserve it?  I should really save that kind of punishment for them.  And since I will probably never meet them, I should probably just forget about hating people and/or stabbing anyone with my high heels.  Let's see how long this lasts.  I'm wagering 2 weeks max.

Good Bridget

Am in new office setting where I know practically no one, and those I do know, I only know from the phone and believe they HATE me.  Had intense desire to run to desk, put in ear phones and just workworkworkworkwork....but sadly, most of job is to interact with people.  So....

I bravely faced my fear of mingling, and I walked allllllllll around, introducing myself to everyone.  EVERYONE.  I know them ALL now.  And I think I won over a few people who previously hated me with only a few smiles.  Did not even have to bake cookies....which is good as did not have time to sleep, let alone bake.

In other victorious news, defeated fear of driving in Atlanta.  High School / College Kelley who would drive into the city with a hand-written set of directions to the Fox Theater Parking Lot is quite impressed with Grown-up Kelley who has driven every inch of LA and is now, therefore, fearless.

Jokes told to me by the Bad Guy from Kindergarten Cop

Note:  I guessed the answer to two of these three.

(1) What does the Indian say when his dog falls off a cliff?
....
(2) Why does the chicken cross the playground?
....
(3) What is red and smells like blue paint?
....

AnswershiddenintextblockofletterssoyouarelesslikelytoinadvertentlyseethemandthusspoilthesurpriseofthecorniestjokeseveranswernumberoneisdoggoneanswernumbertwoistogettotheotherslideanswernumberthreeisredpaintandnowafewmorelettersthrowninforgoodmeasurebecauseIknowyouareonpinsandneedlesnotwantingthesejokestobespoiled,suchgems.

Still, this did lighten my mood, which was previously "how hard do I have to throw my shoe to kill a man?"

Weight:  Have forgotten to weigh in lately....is there some psychological aspect to that?  Hmm.  Think was more a factor of forgetfulness.  Still, bad news today when I remembered.  x+18.  Nearly 2 months of having goal (yet not working toward goal), and progress report: gained 3 pounds.  Bridget would be proud.

In summary of current life, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Followed by:
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Please let me be alive in April.