Today

I feel a lot like the girl who's picked out her bridesmaids' dresses before the guy even proposes...you know the girl.  Mine is job-related, but still annoying/exciting/nail-biting.

I spent summer of my freshmen year in college analyzing if a certain day was more likely to bring the intended (and already discussed) proposal with a certain reader that will remain un-named.  Not to say it wasn't exciting when she called me from the top of Stone Mountain - she certainly seemed excited, and I know I was - but still, there were equal amounts of relief that it had happened and there was no need to worry about whether it would anymore.

That's the summer I decided that I really hoped I'd be completely caught off guard by a guy proposing, so much so that I'd ask him politely if I could have a day to think about it so that I would be able to put my whole heart in it and know it was the right decision.  My friends say that is rude and would be a guy's nightmare, but it's still my dream.  I really hate the foregone conclusion.  The idea that you're so sick of waiting for something that it's hard to even enjoy it once it comes your way.   You're just relieved that the freaking waiting is over.

Aren't there a few people out there who still get carried away with luck and are surprised by their good fortune?  And if so, can't I dare to dream that I might one day be one of them?

Rant about Fashion

Fashion is something women created to make other women feel inferior.  Women do not use fashion to attract men as it's more than likely actually a turn-off.  No, it's a whole industry designed to keep others in their place and create a false stigma that "more expensive" is somehow "better." 

Anyway, as a person who is on the verge of falling into the fashion money pit, I just wanted to call fashion out on its own game. 

I'm still going to lug around my P&P kate spade book clutch (that I managed to buy on sale, woohoo), but when I do, I'm going to know that it's because I love it and just can't help myself....certainly not to impress anyone.  Because quite frankly, the only thing it should say to people is "here's a girl who is on her way to becoming a lonely cat lady."

And maybe they'd be right, too.

*May* have broken my scale...

Weight:  I don't freaking know, and it's KILLING me!  How do I know if I'm on track?  How do I know if I should feel guilty?  And worst of all, will I not get credit for running 10 miles last night?  EEK!

As the subject line says, I *may* have broken my scale.  While I could certainly feel bad about having put my heavy a$$ on it and thus breaking it, I believe it was something electronic since it just wouldn't power up today.  I plan on buying one immediately and starving myself until I get it so that I'll still have the residual running effect.  And I'm really doing well on the whole starving myself thing as I've already eaten 2 of my 3 meals today.  Oh well.... 

(Note:  Starving is always a bad idea.  That's why I'd never do it to myself.)

On Politics

Weight: x+17, scale is unaware of my having run 32 miles last week.  That's fine, I'm not bitter.....argh.

I was thinking about the debt ceiling crisis and how people don't approve of Congress as a whole right now, the one thing Democrats and Republicans can agree on.  It made me think of this:

It's like when Mark Darcy and Daniel Cleaver are fighting over Bridget, and she's on the sidelines debating who to root for.  Then, Mark wins the fight, but they both lose her. 

That's kinda how the debt ceiling debate went.  Only WAY less hot.

The Power of the "Send" button

Weight: x+18.6, are you kidding me?  Is this a prank?  Am I being punked here?  Scale: this is how it works.  When I exercise and don't eat candy and pizza, you say a LOWER number.  Got it?

As a writer, there's really no greater feeling than having just pressed "send" on an email with your script attached.  Even better when you've actually remembered amidst all of the excitement to actually attach the script!  I often have the elation to want to do everything all at once.  Sometimes, I want to watch every movie ever made while eating every food ever eaten while traveling to every place on earth!  Sadly, all of that is not possible.  But maybe you know the feeling.  Like when your senses are all off the charts at the same time, and your mind is going a mile a minute.

But this feeling doesn't just extend to writers.  There are a few times in life when you get an overwhelming feeling of relief from having sent an email.  Something said that needed saying.  Something that required you to really get your thoughts down on paper.  Something that you obsessed about until you finally resolved to just do it.  Click, sent.

I just sent an email like that.  Awesome.  There's no going back.

I just ran....and ran...and ran some more.

Since I was sad Friday, I spent the weekend thinking how I could shake off my funk.  I spent loads of time with friends and also decided that if I could kick the a&$ of one aspect of my life into high gear, I would probably feel better.  At least momentarily.

So, I ran.  I ran about 3.5 miles on Saturday at a speed I certainly didn't think I could run for very long.  Then, I ran 10 miles on Sunday at a speed that was more in my comfort zone. 

So THERE, sadness!  BAM!  I am the master of the treadmill!

Did it fix everything for Monday morning?  Ok, not really, but it still has residuals of making me feel closer to one of my goals. 

*Note: Not this one... Weight: x+17.6  (Scale seems strangely unaware of my running.)