Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Weight:  Forgot to weigh in...sue me.

Last night, I went to a Parks & Rec screening/Q&A.  My personal highlight was when I was waiting outside before it even started.  We had seen Amy Poehler going through the press for pictures and interviews.  I turned and said "Adam Scott WILL be here," to will it into being true.  And sure enough, the next thing that I saw was Adam Scott walking up.  What!  I control the universe!

Then, during the Q&A, I was brainstorming the best questions I could ask, knowing I would never ask any of my questions.
(1) Adam Scott, how are you so cute?
(2) Hi, Adam.  Um, whatcha up to later???
(3) Adam, on the show your character Ben seems to like Blondes.  Is that something you share with him?  (Twirl blonde hair)

One track mind, you see.

But it was interesting that one girl asked about Leslie Knope's unswerving optimism.  In truth, that's why I love the show.  Everyone else around her might be cynical, but she inspires them to see the world as she sees it.  A big lump of clay that can be molded into the most beautiful sculpture ever.  Love it.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Weight: x+17.  Must face facts honestly and attack them head-on.

Had great plan to get back on track, complete with following through on resolution to eat breakfast.  After all, it's the most important meal of the day.  Then, would be full from breakfast and not binge on Pretzel M&Ms all day. 

However, plan was just thwarted by Disney giving out free cupcakes for the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean.  What! 

Is there any chance that "free" is short for calorie-free?  That seems logical enough.  Ok, maybe it doesn't, but I really want to eat this cupcake!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Weight: bluh...

Ok, now they are just mocking me. I requested specifically that Kate Spade make a Pride and Prejudice clutch, AND send me one for free for giving them the genius idea that would make them so much money. And now I see this!?!?


Kate, this hurts.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Bridget on Horoscopes

Weight: x+16, but fully believe all in good places.  Like chocolate, for example.  Maybe a little pizza, but mainly chocolate.

This Bridget wanna-be doesn't quite buy into the whole "horoscope" thing.  That is, unless someone reads it to me and it says something awesome that I want to hear.  Then, Bridget and I would agree whole-heartedly: it's obviously correct.

This month, that's exactly what happened.  My friend pointed me to my horoscope for this month which said I would have good news and reason to celebrate on May 17th (the day we find out if our pilot is getting picked up to series). 

It also said a whole lot of things about love and finding a soul-mate this month.  I told my friend "apparently I'm going to diet and exercise a lot this month, ha."  "Your horoscope said that?"  "No, but it said I was going to find my true love.  Same thing."

Taken from astrologyzone.com

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Unbearable Kate-ness of Movies

It would seem that every year, Kate Hudson comes out with a movie that is unbearable to watch.  And I go to watch them in the theater.  This year, it's going to be Something Borrowed.  Or as my friend I'm going to go see it with calls it, "you know, that one with the blonde and the brunette, and that guy you like from The Office."  (Crystal, you might have said John Krasinski by name, I can't remember.)

For those of you who don't know, Something Borrowed is about a lawyer-friend (Ginnifer Goodwin) who doesn't have self-confidence so she never stands up to her "best friend" (Kate Hudson) about how she's stolen everything out from under her all of her life - most recently Kate's fiance.*  Oh, but don't worry.  Where we start, all we do is see Ginny get her groove back and steal Kate's fiance.  Yes, he's a chess piece, guys.  In 3rd grade, he'd be that glitter bracelet I let [X cheerleader, NS] borrow, and when I asked for it back, she said "ok, but then we won't be friends anymore."  (To which I said, "ok, can I have it back then?")

While talking to another friend about it, she just didn't understand why these people would be friends and treat each other so poorly.  (Score for being a better friend than them, Sarah!)  Or how you could be about to marry someone that's so horrible and KNOW it.  My only answer is that I kinda think that's more common in life than you'd think.  People don't stand up for themselves, girls and guys alike stay together and get married because they've been together so long, and "best friends" are sometimes the people that hurt you the most.  (Not mine, of course.)

On that happy note, I guess go see a horrible movie with Kate Hudson in it.  Or the terrorists win.

*Note: I really don't know how they got John Krasinski to be in this movie, and I think they are promoting him being in it because he's the only likable character.  Ok, so I read the book, what of it?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Bridget on Shoes

Weight: x+16 and growing....left-over pizza in the fridge?  Yes please!

I firmly believe that my death will be caused by high-heels. 

I refuse to wear anything that is less than 3.5 inches high (at least out in public - and out in public included walking the dog, a funny picture when you remember that I walk my dogs in my pajamas).  In fact, it's walking my dog in high heels, specifically, that I fear will kill me.

My dog likes to loop herself around trees, take a step off the sidewalk into the street, and in general not mind me.  One of the streets we walk on has been known to have fast-moving traffic.  (In fact, Sandy and I walked past a motorcycle cop with a speed gun this morning.)  Sandy doesn't seem to be bothered by the traffic and still loops around every tree, street post, "Now Leasing" sign, and sprinkler that dares to spray her.  I follow her so as not to have to take her off the leash and lose what small semblance of control I have over her. 

One day, the perfect storm will occur:  Sandy loops around a tree, I follow her, I slip in recently-sprinkled grass due to high heels, my neck falls under car tires.  Eek!

I've lived a good life.  Let my tombstone read "if only she had been 5'8" without heels."

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bridget gets Political

"What do you think of this situation in Chechnya, isn't it a nightmare?"
"I couldn't give a f^*&, Jones."

I'm sure Bridget would probably do this over drinks with Daniel Cleaver after practicing saying "Osama" a few times in the mirror to make sure she's nailing the pronunciation, but here goes...a very rare political comment from me.

I remember a day when a President I didn't vote for, who lost the popular vote while winning the electoral college, announced to us all that he was going to go after the ******* who killed 3,000 American civilians.  I remember cheering for him.  Didn't everyone?

So, now another President, one I did vote for, who recently proved he is in fact a US citizen, announced to us all that he got that ******* who killed 3,000 American civilians.  I'm cheering again.  Why isn't everyone?

Osama bin Laden was neither a Republican nor a Democrat.  He attacked us for everything that both parties hold dear.  If you want to let his death tear us up over party lines, then in the most over-used words of that former President, "the terrorists win."

It's a good day to be an American.

Bridget on The Royal Wedding

If I were truly Bridget Jones, I'm sure I would have watched the Royal Wedding Friday morning.  She'd have had friends over, and they'd all drink mimosas (and when she ran out of OJ, just straight booze).  Jude would have brought over lady fingers with raspberry jam. Shaz would have come over, under protest, to argue about how wasteful all of the fashion and ceremony (all of which she knew by heart and in great detail) were to the tax-payer's money.  No doubt, all three would be drooling over the idea of being a princess.  A real princess.

However, I couldn't have cared less about the whole thing and didn't set my alarm clock OR DVR so I could watch the ceremony.  Nope, I just went about life as if it were a normal day.  Because it was.  I wonder if I'll live to regret that one day.  I remember watching a tape my mom made of Princess Diana's wedding. (Gosh, is that possible, to have had a VCR then?)  I know she got together with a friend to watch it live and probably ate something very British while doing so.  Why is it so different this go-round?  I know plenty of people who were into the wedding, but personally, I didn't care at all.  And when I saw unavoidable clips in the news, all I could think was "I'd have fallen on my face or embarrassed myself in some way.  Thank goodness I won't ever be a princess."

Well, I guess Bridget and I have that in common at least.  Falling down a lot.