Conversations with my Boss

Weight:  x+7, because that's normal, to gain a pound after running a half-marathon in 2 hours, 11 minutes, and 45 seconds with an average pace of 10:03, right?  Harumph.  Only me.

ANYWAY, the real reason to post this here is because I can't very well post it on facebook...and I think you'll agree it needed to be recorded for posterity.

Here are the conversations I had with my boss today:
A) How a show about a female correctional facility would need to include pillow fights.
B) Why Southerners shouldn't feel bad about their heritage.
C) Would I put on make-up while driving - to which I responded deadpan:  "No, of course not.  I would never leave the house without make-up."  (Joke, har har har.)
D) And then in a pitch meeting - Him: Talk to Kelley later because she's running my development company.  Me:  I think I just got promoted.  Him:  I'm probably going to have to start paying you more, huh?  Me:  Uh huh.  In shoes.  (Afterwards)  Him:  That couldn't have been that much of a shock, right?  Me:  Um, yeah, I thought you were hiring someone for the job.  Him:  Come on, no one I know works as hard as you.  Cut to me leaving early today....

And because I may have just dreamt all of this, and I'll at least want to remember the dream in its entirety, we then had this conversation -
E) Where he introduced a republican talking point and then cut himself off.  My jaw dropped, and we then had to discuss how we were seeing a unicorn, live and in person.

Ok, you can pinch me now.