Coffee, Tea or Me, Sir. Which will it be?

Weight: x+18...I must be REALLY muscular right now, because other than one miniscule slice of paper-thin crust pizza that I ate last night, I have been a saint in the dieting world.  This is clearly one of the greatest travesties of all time.

As I'll be making a whirlwind tour of the East Coast starting Saturday, I'm reflecting on what an excellent opportunity flights can be for finding wonderfully interesting eligible bachelors.  I'll be taking a grand total of THREE flights, giving me THREE opportunities to sit next to a stud. 

When picking my seat, I always consider which one will most likely have a singleton seated beside me.  For instance, if it's a row of three, pick an aisle that only has the window seat full so far.  Thus, you know you're not on a row with a married couple flying to their honeymoon.  If possible, pick the most "normal" flight times - don't pick a red-eye when you'll be flying with business men rushing home to their families, etc.  I do my best.  But somehow, despite my efforts, I always wind up next to the smelly, fat, grandpa of a guy who wants to know if that's a script I'm reading so he can promptly pitch me an idea or talk about that one time he spotted a celebrity.

Will this be my lucky trip?

And yes, I know it's sad that all of this is only too true.

Run, Bridget, Run!

Weight: x+16.5 (yeah, I'm counting half pounds, what of it?)

I'm back to running a million miles a few times a week, but it has yet to pay off on the scale.  That's ok.  I'm sure it's just becoming muscle....or possibly I'm balancing it out by eating banana bread by the loaf.  Either way, I bring up the running so that someone will remind me why my knees and hips hurt later on.  (Note: nothing hurts yet!)

Since no real progress has been made this year, I'd like to send a little note out to any and all beach/pool parties that I'm invited to this summer:

I regret to inform you that my abs will not be able to make it to your party.  They have a prior engagement with nutella.  In their place, they will be sending blubber.

Bridget on ADD

Weight:  x+17.  Seriously!  I resisted SO MUCH YUMMY FOOD!  I only had one tiny little sliver of a THIN crust piece of cheese pizza....and a few pita chips in hummus....and a few slices of banana bread....made into a nutella sandwich.  (Just kidding on the last one, though I considered it.)

Bridget had a "boy" version of ADD.  As in her attention could only be held by boys.  She often would obsess over Daniel Cleaver, and most of the work day was spent limiting how many times she could think of him per hour - which, in turn, meant spending the whole hour thinking about him or thinking about NOT thinking about him, which was still just plain thinking of him.

Likewise, I get a little distracted while I work.  It's only made worse by there not being much work to do lately.  Still, in my free time (which I have some now, thanks to not working as much, yeay!), I should be writing.

When it comes to writing, everyone knows that the first step to writing is cleaning your apartment.  Then, cleaning out your closet.  Sorting the recycling, scrubbing the kitchen floors, dusting, vacuuming, taking out the trash. Then making sure you have watched everything on your DVR, because if that backs up, what a nightmare!  Then, getting your oil changed, obviously blogging (wink)...and the list goes on.  Writers have the cleanest homes and are the most organized people I know.  You know, except for the ones making a living at writing.  Except for them.

So, here's a moment in the life of my brain, as I delay writing.

I think the new flooring I picked out for my living room is going to be too dark.  Maybe I should look for light colored rugs on Overstock...hmm.  Or look at new paint.  New paint could definitely make the room feel lighter.  Damn, my painter's phone has been disconnected.  Yelp.com - painters, Burbank....hmm.  None of these painters are answering.  Never mind.  Maybe the flooring will be ok.  If it's not, maybe I can paint when I get back and have time to think about it more.  I mean, I did make a snap decision on the current paint and have been hating it ever since.  But then, if I delay until I get back, I won't be able to put stuff back in the living room until even later.  Hmm.  Why was I on Overstock?  Oh, rugs.  Right.  Living room, Dining room, runner....where to start.  I hope they really will be finished with the flooring by Friday afternoon since I leave Saturday.  I leave Saturday...  While I'm in Georgia again, I should really get people together to watch the pilot since they won't see it otherwise.  Where would I screen it?  If I screen it, will people come?  It's already less than a week from the only weekend night I'll be in town.  And if I screen it at a house, my house is a wreck.  Literally, I think my aunt has called a demolition team...or perhaps organized a seance.  I'm not really sure, but she definitely thought that it was a wreck that needed to be dealt with via the phone last week.  (Note: it could not be dealt with via the phone.  I am not telekinetic.  I know this because I have tested my powers thoroughly.)  I could have the screening in the old furniture store building on the square maybe....but would people come to Henry County?  If I do it, what should I serve?  Google: McDonough, GA caterers.  Where would I get chairs, a big TV, food, beverages, etc....where would they park?  ....why am I on Overstock.com again? 

Hmm.

Maybe I should start writing.  It is midnight after all.

More Tasty Fruits

Weight: x+15, but that's only after running a million miles...and today's eating is sure to destroy any and all progress.

Today's edition is a tasty fruit that I have no interest in eating at all.  But I think my friend likes them, so I made them for her birthday!  (Spoiler alert if you're Kelly, and you're reading this before your party.)  I don't know what it is about strawberries that I don't like.  Oh wait, yes I do.  It's the seeds on the outside that grosses me out.  So, maybe I WOULD like a chocolate covered one.  Who knows!

Of course, I also made my favorite tasty fruit again, but it didn't turn out quite as well as last time.  I did a better job mashing the bananas, so I opted out of using the hand mixer.  I thought that would add a nice level of texture instead of plain old "bread" consistency.  Well, not so much.  It's edible, and some might even prefer it, but I think I'll use the mixer next time personally.  Oh well.

Enjoy drooling.

Bridget says "Hmm.  So that's what ovens are for, not for drying clothes after falling into a lake where I was reciting Keats with Daniel Cleaver.  Interesting.  But I think I'd prefer my banana bread to have a bluish hue."

Tasty Fruits

Weight: x+16, a little progress...and it only took a bit of running and a hike!  (And a bit of pizza eating, to balance out.)

I didn't finish eating all of my bananas this week, so I thought it might be a good time to attempt one of my favorite treats when other people (like Starbucks) make it for me:  Banana bread with chocolate chips.

Results!  And yes, it was missing the middle slice when I took it out of the oven.  It must be a pan defect.

This new diet of more fruits and veggies is really working out for me!  Mmm, bananas...

(What?  Bridget totally thinks this counts.)

A Good Start

Weight: x+17...but not Monday's x+19 which went unreported for obvious reasons.  It was the result of two nights of eating pizza.  (Note:  That is not the good start I'm referring to.)

As anyone who has ever dieted knows, a diet requires two things:  change and will power.  So naturally, being light in the will power arena, the first step toward both requirements is to eat the entire contents of your fridge: everything, that is, which does not measure up to the new diet plan. 

Yes, the first step to dieting is eating all of your ice cream.  I repeat, eating ALL of your ice cream.

Carrot juice, yogurt with granola,
bananas, and baby carrots.  Oh my.

I've been off to a great start in that department.  :-)

But now, it's week 2, and I have to actually eat the new healthy replacements my credit card was only too kind to buy for me.

So please take a look at this week's snacks.  Notice how none of them are pretzel M&Ms.  Oh, the sacrifice.

PS - should also note that while typing up this blog, have been pumping up (with my foot, I kid you not, multi-tasking) one of those better posture core fitness work out balls (can you tell I have no idea what they are actually called) that I will now be sitting on for the rest of the day.  Or at least a few minutes.  Bridget would be proud.

* Dear nervous friends, please note that my diet is not actually to lose weight as I represent it here in my blog (for the fun of it).  It's actually so that I don't die of scurvy, blinded by glaucoma.

June 1st - New shot at resolutions

Weight: x+18, but I'm only 24 hours away from an all eating-out holiday weekend, folks.  Be forgiving. 


To say I've stuck with my resolution to only eat one frozen meal a day is to take a very bold stance on the definition of a frozen meal.  For instance, does that include my frozen fake bacon strips if I make them into a fake bacon sandwich?  Is it possible that a frozen breakfast doesn't count as such if it's eaten for dinner?



Well, I'm going to vote no on both accounts...meaning I'm a failure.



Since I view each first of the month as a new opportunity to make a resolution, here goes.  Let's renew the eating better ones. 



See the water bottle, proving it
MUST really be my counter.



* Have at least one meal a day that doesn't come from the freezer and/or require the microwave.

*Remember that skinny girls do not eat pretzels dipped in nutella for dinner.

*Stop mistaking cereal for vegetable.

*Don't eat movie theater soft pretzel instead of meal.

I went to the grocery store, walked down all the aisles, and tried to get some new foods that I NEVER eat that would be semi-healthier.  Friends, I kid you not.  

Here are the results....

But now it's after 9pm, and I just think I'll eat a bowl of cereal and be done with it. (Yes, I do this knowing that cereal is not a vegetable).  Too much energy went into shopping.