Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bridget on the 5 Stages

Weight:  x+15....sigh.

Have come to realize that I've entered the 5 stage of Being Fat.

Denial:  Am not fat.  Am big boned.  Also, jeans have shrunk in the wash.  Am not going to have to buy new clothes and/or wear fat jeans.  Just need to add hour into daily schedule to properly "stretch" jeans prior to wearing them out in public.

Anger: How dare doctor say I need to lose weight!  Maybe if weren't in LA where everyone is supposed to be a stick-insect, would not be considered obese.  Doctor needs to take a look in the mirror!

Bargaining:  Ok, let's be reasonable here.  If I do a few lunges, maybe a couple crunches here and there, and promise not to eat ice cream sandwiches anymore, I should still be able to eat nutella with pretzels as dinner one night a week.  That's fair, right?

Depression:  Ugh.  No one will ever love me.  Might as well embrace it and dive into Party-sized Pretzel M&M bag. 

Acceptance:  Whoever said 'nothing tastes as good as being thin feels' must be allergic to chocolate.  Chocolate will never let me down.  Bring on the fat jeans.

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