Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Carmageddon! It's upon us!

Weight:  legitimately forgot to weigh in, but last time was Sunday, and that was a very nice x+15.  Then, I proceeded to eat out a lot.  A lot, a lot.  Like my weight in bread, hummus and frozen yogurt.  So who knows.  I say this so that, should I post again tomorrow, I won't think "My GOODNESS, how could I have gained 5 pounds by RUNNING last night?"  That doesn't help my self-esteem very much at all.

Onto the subject at hand:  This weekend, the 405 is closing for the 10.2 miles between the 101 and the 10.
That means that "carmageddon" is only directly affecting those who travel from the 101 south on the 405 to the 10 (or the opposite route as well).  But in reality, it's affecting THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!! 

If you're not a - Los Angelean, Los Angelite, Los Angeleno? - Los Angeleno, this may not sound believable, but oh, it is.   I live a few miles east of the 405, and a few miles north of the 101, safely outside of the line of fire, right?  Answer:  WRONG, NO ONE IS SAFE FROM CARMAGEDDON!

*I've driven 11 miles and had it take 2 hours and 20 minutes.  I can and have run 11 miles faster than that.  (Circumstances: Hollywood & Highland was deemed "a crime scene" on 9/11/2008 due to a car accident killing a cab driver.)

*I've driven 6 miles to meet for dinner and had it take OVER an hour. (Circumstances:  I was stupid and forgot about the Griffith Park Holiday Lights Exhibit and should have taken alternate routes, but it was too late.  BUT as recently as last month on an average Friday night, it took me 50 minutes to do the same route - a route which should only take 20!  And even that doesn't make sense for 6 miles in most places!)

*Last night, I drove 5.6 miles, and it took me 55 minutes.  Yeah, that's right, 55 minutes.  It was a Tuesday.  Nothing special, just a Tuesday.  (And yes, I passed the Hollywood Bowl, but that part wasn't even bad - it was stupid Barham, folks who are in the know!)

You think you have seen bad traffic.  You have never seen anything that will top the feats of Los Angelenos.  And this weekend, this very weekend, we will top ourselves. 

I'm literally scared to walk my dog around our block this weekend.  I'm going to the grocery store to stock up on supplies.  Unless I know your middle name, I'm not going to share my dog's toast with you.  I have to protect us from the impending doom.  (Eek, I knew I should have bought a disaster kit when that infomercial was advertising them!)

In short, beware Carmageddon.  No one is one.

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