Thursday, July 21, 2011

On Seasons

Weight:  Eleventy million pounds and counting...

Dear Weather Men:
What did you think Summer was going to be like?  Yes, I know some summers, most in fact, people die from heat exhaustion, dehydration, etc.  It IS a serious problem, and I agree that the heat index is definitely worth telling people about.  It's what some, not Newsweek but some, might call "news."  It very well might affect their preparedness and safety under such conditions and therefore save lives.

But when it's Winter, you talk about "The Blizzard of the Century."  When it's Spring, you talk about "the Rain that made Waterworld a reality."  When it's Summer, you talk about it being "really, really hot."  Shocker.  You act like Snow in a place like Boston is always "record-breaking," when in reality, that's just a place where it snows a lot.  People should know that.  Summer = heat.  Winter = cold.  Cold places = cold winters.  These are all just facts.

When I was a kid (a million years ago, I know), we didn't talk about the weather being "THE END OF THE WORLD!"  We just said "the high will be in the mid 80s" (which is what it is here in Sunny, Deadly Burbank, by the way), and left it at that.  It was called "summer."  It lasted about 3 months, and then we all moved into what we called "fall."

So, come on!  Let's have a little accountability here!  If at age 5, you knew to wear shorts in the summer and to put on sunscreen, how did that fact escape you later on?  If at age 7, you knew not listening to your mom about putting on your coat in the winter would give you a cold - otherwise known as "a much needed week off from school" - when did you forget it?  Was it in your drunken 20s?  Kill too many brain cells, did you? 

California Girl who wants it to be hot enough to go to the beach.

PS - I was promised temps in the 100s this week.  You've only reached an 86.  86?  That's a B for you, weather.  I'm watching you.

PPS - Have theory that 9/11 is to blame for all this weather hype. Fear tactics, I tell you. I want no more of it!  That being said, please no one make this into a discussion about global warming...just let that opportunity slide this time.  I really would rather not politicize it with a party in mind.

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