Weight: x+13, silver lining.
Yesterday was a v. v. not good day. I was left with a desire to research anti-depressants and "cutting" which seems to be all the rage, but then I thought of Bridget. WWBJD?
After waking up from a night of too much vodka and Chaka Khan, Bridget would probably look around her and find something to laugh about. So that's what I did. But what I found was less laugh-worthy and more inspirational.
As I tried to dry my tears and go to sleep, I thought about the people that did or at the very least tried to make my day better. I thought about Carlos in the commissary who said with a wink that he gave me extra chicken in my chicken salad. (No, of course I was not eating chicken salad, friends.)
Carlos's life is harder than mine, plain and simple. And he still had the thoughtfulness, the kindness, the cheerfulness, and the HUMANITY to try to do something nice for me. Me. Just some girl with an iPhone in one hand and a pair of ridiculously over-priced shoes that I may or may not be able to walk in. Really? I'm the one that's pitiable? I'm the one that is saying "woe is me?"
Then, I thought about Caroline. Caroline who worked her butt off for months and was finally able to catch her breath, but instead, jumped right in and helped me. I cannot give Caroline enough hugs.
Then, I thought about Erika. Erika who continues to make my life bearable. Erika who is working long hours in a job she never signed up for in the hopes that it will lead to a job she might be able to stand....in the hopes that job will lead to the one she really wants. I thought about how much I have to learn from Erika.
Then, I thought about Jon. Jon who has one foot out the door but kept asking me what I needed.
Then, I thought about Howard and AJ. Two people who really took one on the chin and came in with smiles on their faces today. I have a lot to learn from Howard and AJ.
Then, I started thinking bigger and realizing that as sweet as my mailman is, I don't know his name. And as much as I owe my life to the cleaning person at our office, I don't even know their gender.
So, I can choose to sit here crying, or I can use my precious time here on planet Earth to make Carlos's life better. To make sure that Caroline, Erika, and Jon know how much I appreciate them. To learn from Howard and AJ. And to freaking learn my mailman's name and ask someone who the heck cleans my office.
And what's more, I can use my precious time here on planet Earth to BE the Carlos to every person I come in contact with on what might be their very own v. v. not good day.