Friday, November 12, 2010

Identifying the Daniel Cleaver Type

When I first started this project, I thought "I won't have anyone to compare to Daniel Cleaver" for my Sunday comparison posts. Then, I started re-reading the books...and oh, wait, yes I do!  I'm guessing we all do.  The wonderful thing about this generation is that it's stocked fully with man-children.  For the purposes of this blog, let's call them G for "Guy."

G is the type of guy whom you find charming enough to want to look pretty when he's around, but you know very well that all of his boyish smiles are going to lead to nothing.  G can convince himself that you're not in a relationship even after a mini-break holiday.  Or a few mini-break holidays.  Or forget the mini - a looooong break holiday.  G sometimes can play the perfect boyfriend in front of your friends, parents, etc.  He might be thoughtful and remember your favorite things - restaurants, foods, drinks, movies, bands, books, etc.  On some level, he probably wants to be the perfect man: the marrying, mortgage-owing, father-of-three, garbage-taker-outer man.  But for whatever reason (I blame today's society), he is unable to move forward into adulthood.  On his 30th birthday, he might wake up depressed, realizing how far he is from being that Man.

The reality about G is that he will be the perfect man for someone down the road.  One day, a very patient and deserving young woman may inspire him to leave his G-ways behind and step into a responsible, healthy relationship.  It happened to Sally Albright.  It happened to Bridget Jones (for a minute at least).  It might even happen to you.  And if/when it does, it's not your fault.  It's just life.  Maybe Harry and Mark were Gs to some other woman, just like Joe and Daniel were Gs to Sally and Bridget.

I have a theory that some Gs just can't wrap their heads around all of the mistakes they have made in a relationship.  They think they have to start fresh with someone new when they finally feel capable of being the Man instead of the Guy.  In that case, it really is not you, it's them.

But please do yourself a favor:  ACCEPT that you're not the girl who is going to make G into a Man and move on.  It's the only way to be free for Mark to step into your life.

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