As much as I adore Kelly Kapoor, I don't really love the idea that she is influenced by Bridget Jones. But since she is, I might as well accept it and just list a few of my favorite Kelly Kapoor quotes for fun:
"I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's."
"Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. Maybe he did it."
(chants) "This day is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This day is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S."
"I cannot wait to visit Ryan in prison. I'm gonna wear my hottest track suit, and get my hair done, and then be like, "Hi Ryan." And then all the other prisoners are gonna be like, "Damn! Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend. Ooh, I would never have treated her so bad when I was outside of prison."
"If I was you, I would just like freak out, and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant."
"I swallowed a tape worm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all of my food so that I don't get fat."
"This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean I know what a four should feel like. I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to hell, alright? Thanks for nothing."
"My boyfriend dumped me, so I stole his boat. I mean, he told me it was his boat. It was actually his father's. And I just thought it'd be really romantic, like 'Thelma and Louise,' but with, like, a boat. And it was the worst year of my life. And I can't believe that you guys are making me talk about this on my birthday!"
"I could be the Indian Julia Roberts."
And of course my absolute favorite is found here: http://www.subtlesexuality.com/main.shtml
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